The return of demon kitten
Damn you, Molly.
Before my alarm clock ever goes off, the wailing begins.
Meeeooooowwww… Meeeooowwwww! MEEOOOOWWWW!!!
Molly is screaming for breakfast again. Her volume increases with each passing moment. My wife, who can hear properly (I’ve got about 75% hearing loss, but Molly is so loud I’m normally awake by that last meow anyway), yells out “Please shut that cat up!”
I happily oblige. Knowing she’s wailing to be fed, I feed her and the other cats breakfast. At last, some peace and quiet.
But no, Molly is not done. The wailing resumes.
THE PROBLEM
Last year in September, my wife and I rescued a kitten. We named her Molly.
Adopting her was a mistake.
Maybe that’s a tad melodramatic, but at the moment it certainly feels like a mistake. As I hope you were able to gather from the absolutely harrowing story above, Molly has taken to wailing at us until she is fed breakfast, and then resumes wailing at us while hoping to receive a second breakfast. This will not do. After taking a couple days to scheme, the plot we geniuses have devised is to feed her in my office instead.
Molly used to be almost this bad about food. Before, she’d just wail until she got fed breakfast and then she was happy. Then she chilled out for a bit; we had a brief, blissful moment where she wouldn’t scream for breakfast until about 9 AM. Now, she’s the worst she’s ever been. If she isn’t fed breakfast by 7:30, she thinks it’s late. Plus, if anyone wakes up to pee after 5 AM and she’s awake, she decides it must be breakfast time.
THE RESOLUTION (KIND OF)
We’re on day 4 or 5 of our “feed her in the office” plan and Molly has not accepted that she is being fed in the office. Almost every day, we are woken by her wailing. I feed the older cats, who are still fed in our room because they aren’t ABSOLUTE FUCKING HEATHENS, and then try to get Molly to follow me up to the office so I can feed her. She ignores me, instead choosing to continue to wail in our room where she used to be fed. I have to go back, pick her up, and remove her (and close the door so she’s locked out). What I want to do is carry her all the way to the office because sometimes she will only follow me partway before trying to go back, but she flails like a demon kitty and scratches the shit out of me. Thus, it sometimes takes 3+ attempts to get her to her food in the office. Once there, she happily eats. (btw - I do the morning routine cause I’m always up earliest).
UPDATE: My wife had the clever insight to feed Molly in the office first, before feeding the other cats, and that worked better this morning so perhaps that’ll be the new routine.
After she’s been fed, however, the saga is not over. She has to be locked in the office because she will return to our bedroom door and wail for more food. For what it’s worth, she still screams in the office but that’s at the front of the house and our bedroom is at the back so we can’t really hear her. I really, really hope she’s not peeing on the floor in my office while she’s locked in here. So far, it doesn’t smell like cat piss so, off to a good start I guess?
THE END?
Molly is being a food-obsessed brat. I would feel bad saying this about a kitten, but you haven’t dealt with her and been scratched up by her like I have. It’s not even like we are denying her food! She’s just stubborn and doesn’t want to be fed in the office. And she wants to scream anytime her bowl is empty. She’s already getting fat so we can’t just keep giving her more.
Oh yeah, and Molly thinks of me as the “spare human”. She really loves my wife but just tolerates me. I wouldn’t be as upset by this if she wasn’t being SO BAD ABOUT FOOD. One of our other cats, Poppet, believes my wife is the spare human and loves me, so at least that all works out.
The other thing is that once Molly wakes me up, then our puppy, Olive, wakes up. Once Olive is up, that’s it for me for sleep. While I can feed Molly and leave her in the office, Olive needs a full morning routine once she gets up so she doesn’t turn into an absolute monster during the day.
So I guess the silver lining here is that Molly is helping me get up earlier? It’d be cool if she didn’t scratch me and completely resist the new location of her food tho.
What are your thoughts
I want to hear from you!
Have you dealt with anything like this?
How did you handle it?
If not, did this make you want/not want a kitten?
Are you someone who doesn’t want any pets?
The moral of this story is twofold:
DON’T GET A PUPPY AND A KITTEN AT THE SAME TIME
DO NOT feed your kitten when they scream at you for food. That was my screwup
THANKS FOR READING!
